Saturday, March 7, 2009

a memoir of sorts (revised)..feedback


This fear should dissipate, or so i am told.

I went to bed earlier, but awoke afraid.

My strength has limits. I'm not always this bold.


My face was hot with sweat, but the air outside was cold.

I decided to delete your number today.

This fear should dissipate, or so I am told.


I stayed at home, hoping to release this ache of old

while my family went to church to pray.

My strength has limits.  I'm not always this bold.


I took you to an event once. (It was cold.)

I laughed, trying to cover the mistakes I had made.

My violet dress was satin, different from my usual mold.

This fear should dissipate, or so I am told.


I cried over you, not realizing it was my dignity that had been sold.

I received your letter at work, in the midst of my day.

I took a pill or several, and then in my bed I laid.

My strength has limits.  I'm not always this bold.


I think I've given up. Take my cards. I finally fold.

My phone is empty now, why did i keep those numbers anyway?

Maybe if I find someone new these wounds will fade.

This fear should dissipate, or so I am told.

My strength has limits. I'm not always this bold.

2 comments:

  1. hey, i was reading this. i like it a lot like this... new suggestion, switch the first and third lines in the first stanza, and then change the rest of the poem to match. i think it might give it more continuity. like about the dress. it's different, which makes you bold... and taking a pill to sleep, you're waiting for the fear to leave.

    k, try it... then let me see? i have some new ones i'll need your help on. i'll try to get them up today.

    ReplyDelete
  2. okay yeah im going to try this switch up!
    and im checking now to see if you put up your new stuff...if not do it!
    love you

    ReplyDelete