the t-shirt of the band that i liked

he was a good friend of mine.  

good, but not best.

wore a t-shirt of a band i liked 

when we first met.

we bantered on about the war.

how it was marching on too long.

he was a cool cat, you know? the kind you can trust.

but I guess I was very wrong.

i kissed him, (only because i was drunk) outside on the grass.

i saw her out there with a bottle of courage,

or maybe it was a glass?

all of us talked, smoked, and enjoyed the spring breeze.

i kissed him again, nothing more. (I have my limits).

but maybe i'm a tease?

later, we went back inside the apartment

to join our friends.

everyone was was reaching their peak.

the night was coming to an end.

a few of us sat,

finishing our drinks.

his roommate went to bed,

the rest of us carried on, fighting sleep.

my head grew heavy

and my vision blurry.

i asked if it would be a burden if i plopped on his couch.

he nodded 

and got me a pillow in a hurry.

my friend (with the tshirt of the band i liked)

retired to his bed.

the others were bored, tired of the scene, 

so they all left.

hours later i awoke on the same couch

in a confused mess

i looked down, and my green shirt

 from the night before

was crumpled up next to my jeans on the floor.

I squinted slants through the darkness

 in an effort to detect

whose body filled mine 

with no remorse or regret.

my friend(the one with the tshirt of the band i liked)

was likely solidly asleep in his bed

because the face in front of me was that of his roommates.

(someone I now, sadly, wish was dead).

so now i dont know up from down

(or a friend from a foe).

I don't know love from sex

or a dove from a crow.

my heart is worn,

my time concept is on freeze

i'm living in these memories

and i'm afraid i'm

no longer a tease.

OKAY E...help me end this... im stumped and at a block